-X- X-Men: Foundations part 2: Changing World Summary Chapter 1: Bright Stars Chapter 2:Stand Still Chapter 3: Empire State University Chapter4: Distant Early Warnings Chapter 5: Brand Annex Chapter 6: Open Secrets Chapter 7: Change of Faith Chapter 8:Winter Breaks Chapter 9: Healing Breaks Chapter 10: Ice Skate Eve Chapter 11: Razor's Edge Chapter 12:Last Call Chapter 13: Thoughts Ignite Chapter 14: Red Tide Chapter 15: The Pass Chapter 16: Spring Breaks Chapter 17: Kid Gloves Chapter 18: Second Natures Chapter 19: Prime Movers Chapter 20: Moving Parts Chapter 21: Barriers Fall Chapter 22: Hand Over Hand Chapter 23: Hand Over Fist Chapter 24: Open Hand Chapter 25: Open Hand Closed Fist Chapter 26: Racing Heart -XX-
X-Men: Foundations part 2: Changing World
Chapter 6
-X-
Open Secrets
The three kids hardly made it into the kitchen before Scott and Ororo came back out again. “Elaine didn’t kick you out of her kitchen already,” John joked of their quick turn around. “Emergency run for groceries,” Scott explained. Ororo held up a list written in Elaine’s neat script for confirmation. “Dad? Are the keys still in the car?” Jean followed after Scott and Ororo. “In the ignition. You’ve got fresh oil and a full tank of gas – try to keep it in one piece,” he joked. John leaned down to look in the driver’s window once Jean was seated inside. “Remind Sarah things are going to be extra tense around here for a few hours, huh?” There was already an additional nervous energy to be felt about the house. This was the second Thanksgiving Scott and Ororo had spent with Jean and her family. While they were touched and grateful to be considered less as guests and more as family in the Grey home, it seemed that hosting Xavier and the other Xavier Institute guests this year was proving extra stressful for John and Elaine. Jean nodded. “I know. I will,” she added, smiling. Both of them knew that was no guarantee of smooth sailing ahead. John often joked that asking Sarah and Elaine to sit down together was like pairing gunpowder and open flame. An explosion would follow, it was only a matter of time. Truthfully, the two of them were very much alike (though neither would tolerate hearing that). Headstrong, with a tendency to overreact, and each set on her own ways of doing things. Both girls had inherited that stubborn determination from their mother’s side of the family. Jean, however, retained enough of John’s calm reason, along with his love of science and analytics, to balance out Elaine’s heavier Type A qualities. Jean started up the family car and backed carefully out of the garage, pausing only briefly to wave back to both John and Scott, who were standing in the driveway to wave back at her. John then tossed Scott a second set of keys. “You might as well warm up Sarah’s car; I want to change the oil when you two get back.” John knew he could count on Scott’s help with that task. Scott had learned a lot since John first introduced him to auto mechanics a couple of years ago. Not only had he proven an apt student but, much like John, Scott enjoyed learning how cars and bikes worked, and he enjoyed the challenge and the reward in making them work better. “Yes, sir,” Scott agreed as he climbed into the driver’s side. Ororo had already climbed into the passenger seat, perfectly content to not be driving. “Ororo, you’ll tell me if he speeds.” Ororo laughed. “I’ll see that he gets away with nothing, Dr. Grey.” “Thanks,” Scott replied dryly. John didn’t have to tell them to drive carefully. While Scott loved to drive anything on wheels, he wasn’t one to take unnecessary risks. He started up the car, draping one arm behind Ro’s headrest and looking behind them to back out, while Ororo returned John’s goodbye wave.
-x-
Sarah looked around, mildly surprised, at finding only Jean there to meet her at the airport. "So, where are Scott and Ororo?" “Back home. Mom sent them for groceries before I left.” “Splitting you up already. You know that?” “Mom likes Scott and Ororo,” Jean brushed off Sarah’s accusation. “Sure. They’re great for getting groceries or doing the dishes. She still doesn’t want Scott getting too close to you.” Jean rolled her eyes. “Please. We were house mates for two years.” “Not under her roof,” Sarah said. “How’s Paul?” Jean countered, speaking of Sarah’s college housemate and boyfriend, a situation of which Elaine strongly disapproved. “Smart enough to go skiing with his friends in the Poconos; I should have gone along instead of waiting to meet them for the weekend.” “It’s too late to run now,” Jean joked, throwing an arm around her sister. Sarah and Jean collected Sarah’s bags and headed out to the car. “Besides, you’ve spent enough vacations with Paul and his family,” Jean teased. “We miss you.” “Some more than others.” “Don’t be silly. She misses you too. Mom is just... Mom.” All of the Greys did miss Sarah, and Sarah had missed them as well while she was off at college in Berkeley... purposefully, all the way across the country. None of them could argue, Sarah and Elaine together ended up being more stressful on everyone. Sarah hadn’t been home for Thanksgiving since she and Elaine had a spectacular blow up two years ago over Sarah and Paul’s living arrangements, concluding with Elaine’s threatening to bring Sarah back home for her own good and Sarah’s threatening to walk out that second and never to set foot in her mother’s house again.... Sarah had relented the following Christmas, though she did tend to cut her Christmas visits short in order to join Paul’s family on a skiing trip somewhere. Elaine had very specific expectations for her daughters (she still hadn’t quite come around to the idea of Jean’s being a doctor and not marrying one; in her life experience the latter was still a better outcome). That was only one of many places where Elaine and Sarah clashed. Jean was willing at least to humor Elaine’s expectations, if not to embrace them; Sarah fought her tooth and nail anytime she felt Elaine was pushing her own expectations onto her daughters. As they stowed Sarah’s bags in the trunk, Jean passed along John’s reminder that Elaine was particularly wound up over today’s extra company. “Good,” Sarah quipped, hopeful that might grant her a temporary reprieve. Jean wasn’t so hopeful, but, as always, Jean and John would try to keep the peace.
-x-
Elaine looked over her shoulder when John entered the kitchen. “Kids get off okay?” John nodded, “Just fine.” He poured himself a cold drink. “And now I have no cars to work on,” he noted, smiling as he took a sip. Elaine was undoubtedly acting purposefully, they all knew it; just one of those things. Luckily Jean didn’t mind. It would drive Sarah nuts Elaine only gave a quiet “humph”. “Scott and Ororo will make quick work of that grocery list, then you and Scott can go back to playing auto shop in the garage for a few more hours.” John laughed. It really was amazing how quickly and thoroughly Scott and Ororo had become extended members of their family. Of course they were Jean’s best friends in the world; that alone made them important to John and Elaine. But at this point he and Elaine could hardly imagine not having them here with Jean. From the very beginning John and Elaine had known from Charles that Scott and Ororo had led difficult early lives, but Charles held each of them in very high esteem, thought them exceptional for their handling of those difficulties, and the other ones... the ones that came with being different.... John and Elaine had seen many of those outstanding qualities firsthand. Both kids had been grateful, of course. Ororo took in their generosity in the same spirit with which it was offered, and with the poise and grace that seemed to define Ororo (Elaine called her an old woman in a young woman’s body). Scott had always been a bit more at odds with his surroundings. Always polite and charming and distanced, though the latter tendency had softened a bit as things here had become more familiar and more comfortable to him. Though she was often taken with Scott as sweetheart and a charmer – he was constantly finding some way to help her and John around the house – his easy, cheerful manner never kept Elaine’s keen intuition from recognizing something raw underlying his charm. Scott didn’t believe in the concept of being given something for nothing. Being here threw him for a bit of a loop at first, like he didn’t quite trust or understand the reason for their generosity toward him. Or maybe he was just unconsciously waiting for his good fortune to inevitably reverse itself at some point in the unforeseen future. Elaine chalked all of that up to the lack of stability he’d experienced early in life. He could hardly be blamed for that, considering. But it still nagged at her. Elaine managed to worry over that boy something fierce, despite her remaining at uneasy odds with the fact that Scott and Jean were carefully nursing mutual crushes on one another... hence today’s two car mission. John was just finishing his drink when the door opened to allow Ororo and Scott back inside, each carrying an armload of grocery bags. “Here they are. My life savers!” Elaine greeted them with smiles and grateful hugs as they set their loads down on the kitchen counter. Ororo began unpacking groceries while Scott and John retrieved a second round of bags from the car. “Last one,” Scott announced when they returned. “Are you certain there’s nothing we can do to help you in the kitchen, Mrs. Grey?” Ororo asked. “Absolutely not,” Elaine declared, “and don’t make me shoo you two out of here!” “All right then. I’ll just get my books and do a little studying.” Elaine smiled to herself as Ororo left the kitchen. She knew Ororo’d be back. She’d sit at the kitchen table, quietly studying or reading, until Elaine decided she needed help with something. From the day she met them, Elaine had hurt for the knowledge that Ororo and Scott had grown up without family to take care of them. She and John had done all they could to bridge that gap, to include the two of them in their family. Elaine considered them part of her family now, and a joy, both of them. She next turned her attention to Scott, studying him, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders. “Every time I see you I think you’ve gotten taller, Scott!” she exclaimed before deciding with a frown, “You look tired. Are you sleeping enough?” Scott chuckled at her concern. “I’m trying to, Mrs. Grey,” he answered. She dismissed that answer with an unimpressed, “humph”. “Likely working yourself half to death, and living in a dorm with never a moment’s peace and quiet.” Elaine shook her head before returning her attention to her cooking while Scott unpacked the last of the groceries. “Well, you settle in here for a few days. Eat some home-cooked meals, get some proper rest, and you’ll feel better.” “Yes, ma’am,” Scott agreed, because he was back under Elaine Grey’s roof and, here, Elaine’s word was non-negotiable. Elaine barely looked up when Ororo returned and quietly set her books down on the kitchen table. Ororo winked at Scott as she set up her study hall in the kitchen. That way she’d be handy if need were to arise. Scott grinned back at her. “I’ll see if Dr. Grey needs any help in the garage.” “You tell him he’d better not be out there wasting time on that bike of his, or he’ll get a piece of my mind he won’t soon forget!” Elaine continued on that warning track under her breath, while bustling about the kitchen for several minutes, before absently coming to a pause. “Ororo– can you....” “Of course, Mrs. Grey.”
-x-
John was already started on his second oil change of the day upon Scott’s return to the garage. “I hope you weren’t planning to do the motorcycle next.” “Elaine would kill me if I even thought about touching that bike today!” Scott laughed at John’s correct assessment, then questioned. “But she doesn’t want you inside either?” “No. She doesn’t like anyone getting underfoot in her kitchen, but she doesn’t want me goofing off out here while she’s in there working either. Principle of the thing,” he grinned. “Working on Sarah’s car is still work. That’s okay.” Scott grinned back and handed a wrench down to John. John had taught Scott everything Scott knew about cars and bikes, but he’d taught him even more with just his actions and his attitudes. Even though John proudly insisted that both Jean and Sarah be able to do their own car maintenance before they’d even started to drive, he still looked after both cars himself. “I thought you told me Mrs. Grey liked hosting these big dinners.” “Oh, Elaine lives for those big family holiday gatherings, but this one is a little different. More company than family. Present company excepted,” John amended cheerfully. Scott smiled in return. The respect there was mutual. John had a way of meeting people on their own terms, and his family always came first. Scott had since come to understand, this time spent on car maintenance was more than just an enjoyable hobby or a pleasant diversion for getting out of the house. It was one in many small ways of John’s taking care of his daughters and Elaine, from a man who was exceedingly proud of having two strong, independent daughters and a very strong-willed wife... all of whom he loved dearly. John Grey was one of only a handful of people who always ranked a “sir” from Scott. “Jean said you drew the short roommate straw compared to her and Ororo.” Of course she did, Scott thought to himself. “I guess so,” he answered. “We certainly couldn’t be less alike. At first I figured, that’s part of college, right? You meet new people, and maybe I just needed to give it a chance.” “But that didn’t work?” “Giving it a chance turned out to be a one way street. After a few weeks he practically moved out rather than share a room with me.” “Ouch.” “Probably for the best though,” Scott admitted. “But sometimes I look at what Xavier is doing with the Institute and I wonder if I haven’t been living in a bubble there too. A comfortable little bubble that excluded a lot of viewpoints I’ve never thought to consider before.... Maybe I’m a fool for not seeing that sooner.” John smiled. “Scott, I’ve taught college classes for a lot of years now; I can safely tell you, you’re no more a fool than any other college freshmen. A big part of growing up is learning that there is a whole world out there filled with all kinds of different people, places, and perspectives that you never knew about before. That can be a scary lesson and, unfortunately, a lot of people deal with that fear – fear of the unknown – by retreating deeper into what they already know, even when doing so will only make their own world smaller and more close-minded.” “I spent way too much time wondering how anyone could be so unwilling to learn, to participate, to even consider another person’s perspective, before I started to see: he’s that way because it benefits him. I don’t think it’s so much ignorance, or malice, or even fear, but positive reinforcement. His money and status have taught him that he should be treated differently, better. My very presence is an insult to that. He can’t accept that I should be allowed in his space.” “That’s truly unfortunate.... But there are still a lot of open-minded people who want to challenge themselves, to grow and explore and listen and learn,” John countered hopefully. “That’s why I’ve stayed a college professor for so many years now.” “I know, you’re right,” Scott agreed. “And I have met a lot of other amazing people. I’m taking some fascinating classes.” Scott laughed. “Did Jean tell you I have a job at the campus radio station? Working in news and reporting, alone, has shown me just how much is going on in the world!” John nodded. “Learning about the world is the best way to understand our place in it– and hopefully to begin thinking about our responsibility to make the world a better place, especially for those who have less opportunity and fewer resources than ourselves.” Scott nodded, and fell silent, thinking on that for a few minutes. That mission statement was a primary focus of John’s career. Dr. Grey taught classes on infectious disease and global medicine at Bard University, in addition to doing his own research on emerging diseases. And he took volunteer student groups all around the world to offer basic medical care and deliver donated medical supplies in places where they were most needed. “Eventually I stopped beating my head against that roommate wall. But it did get under my skin enough to make me wonder if I have those kinds of deficits too: things I might have learned almost unconsciously, things I never questioned that still shape me... that might limit me.” “What did you see?” John asked. “Honestly? There are minefields worth of junk in my past.” John paused to study him for a moment. He knew Scott to be kindhearted and generous, patient to a fault, and someone whose loyalties ran very, very deep. John had always been happy to befriend the boy and, with time, Scott had shown a matching ease of friendship toward him. Still, John had never forgotten that under the calm surface Scott presented to the rest of the world ran some deeply troubled waters. “Ever consider talking to someone about that stuff?” “Like a shrink?” Scott shrugged. “No. Maybe I could, to a friend... not a stranger.” “Any professional would be there to help you understand yourself, not to judge you.” At the moment Scott was studying his tennis shoes. “They might be able to see it that way; I don’t think I could.” “Well, if you ever want to talk over car and bike parts– I’m not trained in psychology but I’m willing to listen, and I’ve got two teenagers worth of experience under my belt.” Scott smiled, surprised not just by the offer but– that actually didn’t sound so bad. He didn’t intend to spill his guts here in John’s garage... but maybe a sounding board would be nice.
-x-
“Here are my girls!” John greeted his daughters happily, giving Sarah a big hug. “You know, I keep telling Jean, it’s not too late to transfer to Bard.” Sarah laughed. “And yet she’s still at ESU.” “I can’t understand it either. You two could live at home: free room, home-cooked meals.... Your mom and I could get you all back under one roof.” “I like California, Dad.” “Jean? Nice quiet liberal arts college. Very good medical school.” “Nice try, Dad,” Jean conceded. He was laying it on purposefully thick. “Hmm. Daughters won’t budge.... Scott, we have two empty rooms. You and Ororo could move right in,” John continued his doomed sales pitch, making all of them laugh. “Dad,” Sarah shook her head. “You know there is more to college than just classes.” Scott was surprised to find himself in full agreement. Just a few months ago, when Xavier had insisted they live on campus at ESU, Scott had found it hard to imagine why. Now there were a million reasons why. Exploring the city. Visiting the libraries and museums. Running in the parks. Working at the radio station. Or just sitting in a favorite coffee shop or all night diner while cramming for the next big exam. He’d had no idea how much time there would be for life outside classes, or how much life outside of classes would shape the whole experience. It was the difference between fulfilling duties as a student and living to the fullest while being a full time student. “As tempting as the offer is, I have to agree with Sarah. Nice to see you again,” Scott greeted Sarah. He offered a handshake, which Sarah accepted then added a quick half hug of her own. Scott suspected the quickness was meant for his benefit, but her gesture strongly reminded him of one of Elaine’s almost-over-before-they-had-begun hugs. “And, besides,” Jean persisted, “some things don’t easily transfer, like research.” John looked offended. “Important research always transfers.” “Important or just controversial?” All heads turned toward Sarah. A brief silence fell. Jean looked surprised to be on the receiving end of Sarah’s skepticism. John answered diplomatically, “Important science also tends to be controversial.” Jean continued, addressing her father. “But just think about it– unraveling the genetic code to what makes us– us. All that we have in common as humanity. Such a tremendous building block for science, but– it could be so much more than that alone.” John nodded. “All of that is important. But trust me, Sarah does have a point. This kind of high-profile research, it will be a lightning rod for all sorts of different agendas, pro and con,” John offered, already making peace, also to his surprise. “Now,” he put a hand on Sarah’s shoulder, ushering her inside, “you think you can manage a cease-fire with your mother while we have company?” “I’ll behave if she does,” Sarah gave her standard reply. Jean sighed. Where Sarah’s passionate persistence usually amused her, suddenly Jean just felt tired. Usually she and her dad would team up to push Sarah for more of a commitment toward good behavior. Jean didn’t feel like pushing Sarah any further, and that didn’t necessarily bode well. The sound of a car horn drew everyone’s attention. One of the Institute cars pulled up to the Greys’ drive with Hank honking the horn at them cheerfully, Vera seated in the front beside him. Warren and Candy emerged from the back while Hank helped Xavier from the car and into his chair. Xavier then introduced Dr. MacTaggert. Jean glanced at Sarah, sensing her sister’s shock. Jean realized rather suddenly, it wasn’t Sarah’s homecoming that was the cause of their parents’ additional stress. It was Moira’s presence. “You didn’t tell me she was coming,” Sarah said, turning to face Jean. “I didn’t know that she was; she’s Xavier’s guest.”
-x-
Thanksgiving dinner was a warm, festive affair, anchored by Elaine’s excellent cooking and boisterous personality, as well as by John’s warm manner in hosting their guests. Conversation flowed freely throughout the meal, focused first on Moira’s visit, with lots of questions about how she was finding New York and her plans while here. Candy and Vera had many and varied suggestions for sightseeing and entertainment. Charles, Warren, and Hank all brought updates from Westchester combined with remembrances of their own college days, which mingled with stories of college life from Scott, Ororo, Jean, and Sarah, and updates on their own classes. And of course everyone in New York was suitably jealous of the California weather Sarah would be returning to. There was a slight lull in conversation after dinner as polite exchanges of news and conversation gave way to full stomachs. While Jean and Sarah helped Elaine clear the table for coffee and dessert (with assists from Scott and Ororo), talk turned to the previous night’s events at the Brand Annex. Xavier insisted to John that Jean’s tours of the Waren Lab and her introductory speech about the Human Genome Project had been impeccable. Jean good-naturedly protested the compliment as she returned to her seat. “My talk was okay. It was Dr. MacTaggert’s speech that won the night after some protesters started making a scene outside.” “Brand tried to establish one of its research Annexes at Berkeley. We protested.” Sarah ignored the brief moment of uncomfortable silence that followed and used that opening as an opportunity to ask, “Dr. MacTaggert, I’ve been wondering, how exactly will the Human Genome Project’s research apply to mutants?” Elaine’s dropped dessert fork briefly drew everyone’s attention. Elaine didn’t notice the latter; she was too busy staring daggers at Sarah. In Elaine’s mind, Sarah had just purposefully torpedoed the evening (ruining not only Elaine’s exactingly curated holiday dinner, but her carefully constructed display of normal family life at the Greys’) and there was no question of Sarah’s intent in doing so. Sarah looked positively pleased with Elaine’s reaction. As far as Sarah was concerned, she was absolutely blowing things up; she was an arsonist tossing a well-aimed fire bomb straight at Elaine’s unspoken but heavily reinforced need that things always stay just as they are. Jean couldn’t help feeling a sting of despair as she looked between the two of them. Elaine Grey loved both of her daughters intensely. She was in no way embarrassed or ashamed of them. Not of Jean, nor her work, not even of Sarah’s blatant attempt at blowing up Elaine’s carefully crafted dinner party. Jean very clearly recognized the emotion underlying Elaine’s anger: fear. Jean also recognized what Sarah was doing. Like a shark that smelled blood in the water, she too realized Elaine’s desire – in her view – to make things something they were not. Sarah saw it and she attacked. Jean felt unable to side with Sarah but she also no longer shared Elaine’s fear, the determination that things should stay as they are. Normal. Or – as Sarah saw it – hidden. Sarah, again, ignored the rest of the room’s silence to continue. “I only ask because I know of the reputation of your work in genetics; Jean tells me you’re just as knowledgeable in the study of the X Gene as in study of human evolution in general.” “I hardly think this is the time or setting–” Elaine began in warning, still never taking her gaze from Sarah. Elaine found the whole subject unseemly and discussion of it unnecessary, which only increased Sarah’s determination to be heard. “I agree with Mom.” Jean also leveled a stern gaze at her sister, trying to fight down an intense reaction of anger and betrayal. She hadn’t told Sarah about Dr. MacTaggert’s work for it to be used against Moira, or as fire bombs for Sarah to throw at Elaine. “Now isn’t the time,” Jean finished quietly. Sarah sat back in her seat, looking between Elaine and Jean, as the rest of the room watched them. “That’s exactly the problem,” Sarah decided quietly. “It’s never the right time to talk about important things in this house.” Moira tactfully interrupted. “It’s quite alright. I don’t mind talking shop for a few minutes, especially when I get to make a captive audience of Charles and Hank.” Xavier smiled at her gratefully. And despite her kidding to the contrary, the two of them along with Hank made a light-hearted debate of the issue for the next several minutes. “The Human Genome Project is massive in its scale. It will take scientists all around the world many years to amass their data. That provides us with an excellent opportunity to conduct parallel studies into the mutant genome. I’ve been preparing my labs on Muir Island for that very task. As for how to handle the emergence of mutants into society, that is more Charles’s field of study than mine. But I don’t mind telling you, I favor more time for study. I think that the more time we can buy for mutants, to establish themselves, and to live peaceably in relative obscurity, the better it will be for everyone when mutants eventually come out into open society.” Xavier’s outlook was similar to Moira’s approach, with perhaps a more subversive edge to his plans. More than just passive time for study, Charles Xavier assumed that this critical time of gradual mutant emergence would allow mutants to begin the process of building their place among the rest of humanity. Through their actions, they would prove co-existence was possible; both groups would learn to assimilate. As the conversation came to a pause everyone seemed to take a deep breath. Sarah had been willing to listen along with the rest of the gathering. The conversation was enlightening and respectful, but it couldn’t help but make Scott, Ororo, and Jean slightly uncomfortable. Everyone present knew that they, along with Hank and Warren, were the most obvious guinea pigs in this ongoing social experiment. Sarah now looked around the table in silent ask, but the silence held. None of the guinea pigs had further insight to offer on Moira’s or Xavier’s plans for their futures. Elaine took the lull as an opportunity to get the evening back on track. She began refreshing coffees and offering seconds on dessert while John shifted the conversation to Moira’s future plans at ESU, which Candy spoke up to endorse. “Judging by what we heard last night, Dr. MacTaggert’s lecture series is going to be a very popular class next semester.” “It was a wonderful speech,” Vera offered in agreement. “Confirmation that Science is not just something we do for the sake of discovery, or even to save lives, but to help build common cause among all people, with all of us working together as allies. It was truly inspiring.” “I mean no disrespect; I’m sure it was a great speech,” Sarah conceded. “But what good are speeches and lecture classes at a time like this?” she challenged Moira and Xavier. “You have the greatest scientific discovery of this generation in your hands – hell, it was the greatest discovery of your generation a quarter century ago. And if you weren’t still choosing to cover it up, right now would seem precisely the ideal moment to unveil it.” Xavier responded calmly. “As Vera aptly noted, and Moira in her speech last night, this is about far more than science and discovery for its own sake. A great many lives hang in the balance.” “Possibly entire world orders,” Moira concluded. “It is well beyond my scope to reveal that information.” “And if Brand finds it, do you think they’ll hesitate on moral grounds?” Everyone around the table remained transfixed, following the debate like a tennis match... except for Jean. A look passed between Scott and Ororo. Jean’s downcast gaze was worrying to each of them. To the rest of the room she appeared to be calmly looking down, just listening. Her friends recognized the slight withdrawal as a focused attempt to contain her emotions. “No, I certainly do not, and that is of concern.” To Sarah’s surprise, Moira agreed and followed up with a confession. “But Brand’s involvement also pushes out a lot of other interested parties. Without Brand, I’d be far more worried of inciting a race to the finish that could result in very sloppy science, financed by even more unscrupulous characters than Roxxon.” “So Brand is just the lesser of evils?” Sarah shook her head. “Do none of you have anything to say? Some of those lives that hang in the balance are yours, after all, and they are already on the line. What good does it do you to go back and forth between hiding at the Xavier Institute and trying to blend in at ESU?” Hank answered calmly, “Sometimes hiding in plain sight provides the safest option.” “I would think the opposite,” Sarah countered. “Perhaps the longer you hide the harder it becomes to emerge. You can get stuck in place, pretending to be something you’re not.” Warren interjected, “I’ll be the first to say, I don’t always like it, but it’s true. Once mutants are outed we’ll be endangered, and there’s no going back to where we were the day before.” “But you’ll also be free,” Sarah persisted, turning to the other side of the table where Jean sat with Scott and Ororo. “You must see how this looks to the rest of the world. People don’t hide things unless they’re afraid or ashamed.” “Sarah–” The room gave a mild shudder as Jean reacted, surprising both Sarah and Jean. “It is more complex than that,” Ororo carefully interjected after a heartbeat. “Our emergence will come as a shock. Regular people aren’t ready for that shock. The world isn’t yet ready.” “People can’t be ready for something they don’t know exists. Ignorance is no more a solution for the rest of the world than hiding is for mutants.” “No one is hiding.” Jean leveled her gaze at her sister, speaking with great effort. Sarah didn’t back down. “What do you call it then?” “Living– just like everyone else. You have no idea how hard that can be for us– not hiding. Just living. Warren and Hank are right. Sometimes the goal is just to survive– and to make sure everyone around you survives.” Scott interjected calmly. “I think you’re confusing freedom with responsibility. None of us get to be free from what we are. We all go through a continuous learning process, just figuring out what we’re capable of. Doing that responsibly requires time and a little discretion, especially when it’s all new and control is difficult. That doesn’t mean we’re hiding ourselves from the world.” Jean added tensely, “It means we’re taking responsibility for who we are and what we can do. There is no hiding from that. While you’re worrying about the rest of the world’s reaction to us, I’m worried about my ability to hold myself together every second of every single day.” The table rattled more intensely in punctuation to Jean’s careful words, then gradually stilled as she regained control over her emotions. “Jean–” Sarah looked stunned. “I’m sorry,” she whispered in apology to her sister. “That is enough.” The fire finally met gunpowder in the form of Elaine’s temper. “I’m tempted to send you both to your rooms if you’re going to argue across the dining room table like unruly toddlers!” “Don’t bother!” Sarah responded in kind and promptly excused herself. Elaine’s blowing the room up in a fit of irrational anger seemed not at all irrational to Jean. What she felt was a stinging, biting instinct to protect at all costs. And at the moment that unspoken instinct was completely focused on Jean, triggered by the powers that had momentarily slipped beyond her control. Jean was in danger and Elaine would do anything to put a stop to that. Unfortunately, Elaine was overreacting. Jean neither wanted nor needed the ill-timed rescue. Sarah stormed out of the room, headed upstairs. Jean was next to leave, headed in the opposite direction from her sister. Elaine stood and began clearing the table, eager for some retreat into normalcy. Ororo followed Elaine toward the kitchen, relieving Vera on the way there of her offer to help. Ororo assured Vera that she and Scott would help Elaine, allowing Vera to rejoin Hank and the others. John walked their guests outside, speaking quietly with Xavier while Hank pulled the car around to the walk to better access Charles’s wheelchair. Xavier was an old friend of both John and Elaine’s, going back to their own college days, and he was not at all bothered by their inter-family drama. “I am sorry to have left a bit of a scene in my wake,” Moira apologized to John. “Not at all,” John replied. “None of that was about you. Sometimes I feel like this house is a case study for exactly the future Charles sees coming. Even under the best of circumstances, even among people who love each other dearly, we don’t always know how to deal with our loved ones being different– being mutants. I guess that includes me too. I need to get more comfortable with hearing and saying the word.” “We’ll learn,” Xavier soothed his old friend. “We’ll all learn together.” “We’ll have to,” John agreed. “We love Jean too much not to.” Xavier smiled. “As has always been the case. And that remains my greatest source of hope.” “You may not feel it now, John,” Moira added, “but it will be easier going forward than it was before. Jean better knows herself now, and she can determine what is best for herself.” John nodded. “That gives me hope as well. And we’ll never stop being grateful for what you all have done for us, and for Jean. But that doesn’t always make it easier for Sarah or Elaine to let go.... Each of them has spent the last eight years styling herself as Jean’s advocate and protector... too often pitting themselves against one another in the process. But, as Jean grows stronger and gains confidence, perhaps that self-imposed burden will finally begin to lift from their shoulders and they can afford to start making peace with each other.”
-x-
As John was outside, seeing everyone off, Sarah’s door slammed upstairs. A matching clatter of pots pans arose from the kitchen as Elaine retreated to her own corner, the two of them like boxers in a nine round brawl. Ororo and Scott exchanged wary looks before Ororo stepped past him, lightly touching his elbow. “I’ll help in the kitchen. “You check on Jean.” Scott nodded and headed for the back door. He could just see the top of Jean’s head through the window as she sat on the back stoop. He opened the door, paused to get his jacket, and then quickly grabbed hers from the rack beside the door before he stepped outside. “You okay?” She swiped at tears. “Of course.” “Sorry. Stupid question,” he amended. “Here.” He wrapped the jacket around her shoulders then pulled on his own before he sat down beside her on the stoop. “What can I do?” She shook her head and tucked the jacket around herself like a blanket, not even bothering to put her arms through the sleeves. “Just let me borrow your shoulder for a little while?” “I can do that.” She leaned against his side, took a breath and wiped away more unruly tears. As a rule, Jean did not like tears, and any loss of control over her own emotions only tended to anger her. So mostly she and Scott just sat, not talking, while Jean took some time to regain her composure. “They mean well,” Scott finally offered. He hoped that thought was reassuring. Jean nodded. “I think it would be easier if they didn’t.” “Why?” “Because it’s me they all mean well for– and if they didn’t I could say, ‘the hell with all of them’ and just walk out... not have to be stuck in the middle all the time.” “I’m sorry,” Scott whispered, leaning his chin to the top of her head. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright. I’m just a little exhausted from school and the lab.” Jean leaned in against him in return. “Being caught in the middle between Mom and Sarah is one thing; I wasn’t ready to add Moira and Xavier and the whole Human Genome Project dust up to the mix.” Jean shook her head, speaking more quietly. “It was harder on the rest of them than it was for me. Scared and angry and helpless for all the time I was... away. Then never quite knowing what to expect once I was back. Something about seeing Moira again seems to have brought all those emotions back to the surface, especially for Sarah.” “I didn’t know that part,” Scott offered quietly, “about Dr. MacTaggert’s coming here to help Xavier...” he trailed off, not knowing if this was something Jean wanted to discuss. He certainly wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t want to discuss it. As painful as it seemed now, and as much as Jean was trying to shift the focus away from herself, the ordeal she had gone through when her powers first emerged must have been hell on a scared kid. “I don’t remember very much from the hospital. That was when she was here. I know I was out of school for a long time after that. I remember Xavier visiting me daily for therapy while I was recovering.” It didn’t escape Scott that, for all their years of friendship, this was the most he’d heard of that specific time in Jean’s life: the immediate aftermath of her mutant powers emerging. And at that point she did abruptly decide to change the subject. “What if Sarah is right? I’ve gotten so caught up in being part of this great scientific advancement... maybe I’ve lost sight of the trees for the forest. Maybe I started to lull myself into a new normal and forgot– Maybe the question isn’t: Can we stay hidden long enough to come out on our own terms... but, Should we try to?” Scott sighed. “I don’t have that answer any more than you do. I don’t know which way is right and which is wrong– or if it’s even as simple as that. What I do know is, right now there’s a status quo in place. Like living under a peace treaty we didn’t negotiate. We might not like all the terms, but if we break it there is sure to be unforeseen consequences. As long as very few people know mutants exist, and we’re in a position to make things better for those who do, we have advantages. Once the first part of that equation changes – once the whole world knows mutants exist – then we’ll have our chance to rewrite the terms of the treaty. But there’s a whole different risk assessment for our actions after that fact. “If we force our hand and upset that status quo early... there’s an awful lot of ways that can go badly and very little we can do about it after the fact. Right now there’s safety in staying hidden and in playing by the old rules. We can always debate the moral right and wrong of staying hidden vs. coming out into the open as individuals, but I don’t think it’s right for those of us already on high ground to put others at greater risk. “Sarah’s intentions are good, but I don’t think she understands how dangerous it could be if we get this wrong. Our actions could create a moral panic that makes the Salem Witch Trials look like an advanced, just society, and the McCarthy Hearings seem like reasoned political debate. As advanced as we consider ourselves to be as a society, we’re still battling tooth and nail against prejudice, bigotry, and hatred for far lesser differences than an unpredictable gene–” “A gene that we’re on the very edge of publicly identifying, maybe even making detectable.” Jean shuddered, and not from the cold air that had settled around them. “Don’t doubt yourself. When the time comes, we’re all going to need the work you’re doing now.” She smiled. “Thanks, Scott.” “We have to understand ourselves and trust that science has answers. Without that, we risk getting thrown back into the whims of superstition, innocent people burned at the stake as witches or demons, denounced as monsters.” “There’s no guarantee that doesn’t happen anyway. You saw some of those protest signs outside the Brand Annex.” “That was a power play. Cam and his lot, egging on–” “A group of people who want to pit God vs. science to decide which people are for evil and which are good.” “It’s a power play for them too. They see religion losing ground to science. It’s a false equivalency; there’s no reason god and science can’t simultaneously have meaning in the world. But the idea of god being displaced by science terrifies them. Human beings understanding each other will be harder; it always is. But things like the Human Genome Project are going to be part of the solution; I know that, Jean.” Jean nodded, beyond thankful for his support. She knew Scott well enough to know, the actual science meant little to him; it was a tool with potential for beneficial progress. He believed in it because he believed in her. Both of them jumped unexpectedly when Elaine threw open the door behind them. “Jean Grey! You get back inside before you catch your death. I thought at least Scott had more sense than to sit outside in the freezing cold. Chop chop, you two! There’s a sink full of dishes in here that aren’t going to wash themselves, and John is still letting Sarah hide out upstairs.” Elaine seemed to remember the bad turn of phrase, but that misstep only fueled more agitation, leading her to another round of insistent admonishments. “No, ma’am,” Scott agreed calmly, once he could get a word in. “We’re coming in now.” Elaine slammed the door and Jean dissolved into laughter. “Seems I’m a bad influence tonight,” Scott offered, also laughing, as he offered Jean a hand. “At least you brought me a coat.” Scott chuckled. “C’mon,” he held the door. “We’ll make a peace offering of the dishes.” Jean followed Scott inside, hung her jacket by the door, and headed into the kitchen where Elaine was still wound into an impressive state. “Sorry. Saw her heading in your direction; couldn’t head her off,” Ororo noted with a thin smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll take it from here. It’s me and Sarah she’s riled at anyway.” “More Sarah than you,” Ororo confirmed. Jean sighed tiredly, but she was able to talk Elaine down with a steady stream of reassurances, while she dried the dishes. No one present had thought badly of the dinner.... The drama would soon be forgotten.... By the time the dishes were done, John had returned downstairs to help Ororo clear the rest of the dining room table and Elaine was considerably calmer. Scott, Ororo, and Jean were left in the kitchen to sip at their coffees while Elaine joined John out in the living room for a glass of wine. A little while later Jean and Ororo went up to bed. Scott was staying behind downstairs; he said he had some reading to catch up on before he turned in. Elaine could still be heard mumbling something along the lines of, “just don’t know what to do with that girl”, as Jean and Ororo walked upstairs. Jean had decided to share her old room with Ororo for the night and leave Sarah to herself. Maybe it was a petty reaction, but Jean wasn’t any more ready than Elaine was to let this one go. Jean had always thought of Sarah as being on her side; as kids the two of them had always stood up for each other. Jean assumed Sarah still thought that was what she was doing... only it didn’t feel that way to Jean now. This time Sarah’s antics only left her feeling raw and caught in the middle of somebody else’s argument.
-x-
Scott took a seat at the Greys’ kitchen table, mug of hot coffee off to one side, Steven Hawking’s A Brief History of Time to his other side. The book was an extra credit assignment for Dr. Conors but thus far Scott had only made it through the first couple of chapters. He’d expected it to be a challenging read, but so far he was mostly finding it unexpected. Parts read more like Ro’s sociology or even Jean’s genetics notes. Tonight he found himself making notes in the margin alongside Hawking’s thoughts on Complete Unified Theory. Hawking posited, via Darwin’s teachings, that variation in genetics and variation in upbringing would result in.... Scott gave up on making notes and underlined the whole passage: [S]ome individuals are better able than others to draw the right conclusions about the world around them and to act accordingly. These individuals will be more likely to survive and reproduce. And so their pattern of behavior and thought will come to dominate. Hawking went on to speculate that while, until now, human intelligence and scientific discovery had made humans more likely to survive.... in the future, the same advancements could just as easily, in Hawking’s words: destroy us all. “Not reassuring.” Scott closed the book with a quiet thud and took a sip of his coffee, which was already getting cold. He had expected, or hoped, to lose himself in hard facts, not get stuck pondering the nature of human existence... or human extinction. Nor did Scott really enjoy an exploration of Hawking’s thoughts on the nature of mutation and human evolution; he was perfectly content to leave that science to Jean and Hank. One passage of Hawking’s thoughts on human nature had proven comforting enough for it to stick in Scott’s memory. Hawking noted two common and enduring human traits: first, a craving to understand what he called, “underlying order in the world” and second, “humanity’s deepest desire for knowledge”. Order and knowledge, and a hope that by the nature of our own rationality we could assume the universe to be unified rather than arbitrary in its own nature.... Scott honestly didn’t know if that reasoning made sense to him or not. Perhaps he simply liked it because he also harbored a deep desire for order, knowledge, and hope. But those thoughts seemed to have triggered a strange epiphany as he stood in the Greys’ kitchen waiting on his next cup of coffee. He’d been unable to put his finger on it before: why all his arguments with Cam seemed to feel so personal and left him so unsettled. What was it Jean had said to him last night? There was a confrontation there between wanting to help others versus wanting only to protect and enrich yourself at the expense of others. Scott kept getting tripped up on the morality of that logic, the flawed choice of the individual, a mindset Scott couldn’t follow through to any logical place. But Hawking had the larger view of it. Once that choice was made – to protect and enrich yourself, or the fortunate few, at the expense of others, the many – starting down that path would spell doom for society. Especially if enough people of that mindset were able to take charge and set rules for all the rest. That brought his thoughts back to his conversation with Jean earlier tonight. True to form, he immediately started questioning himself. Did they really have time to wait? Or did they have a moral obligation to step forward now, while they still could, before time or circumstances beyond their control forced their hand? Usually being able to see both sides of an argument was an advantage to him, but it was also very often exhausting. Elaine paused at the kitchen door, where she had been about to turn off the lights, only to find Scott sitting there. She felt a momentary blending of past and present as she remembered another scene in this kitchen.... She’d heard him come in but hadn’t paused to look up, so he’d stood out of the way against the counter behind her while Elaine had busied herself with salad and appetizers. That had been Christmas Day, nearly three years ago now. “You sure I can’t do anything else?” he’d finally asked her. Even then, Scott could be polite and charming to a fault. But the reserved way he’d carried himself, purposefully keeping at a careful distance from everyone around him, gave away the fact that Scott Summers didn’t trust the world around him any more than he accepted his place in it.... At first Elaine had thought it was them he didn’t trust; maybe he wasn’t comfortable with them, with being in their home, or with their extended family. She had since come to understand Scott better and she realized it was the other way around. He didn’t always trust himself, not enough to let down his guard. Elaine had turned to frown at him, that Christmas past, sensing that this wasn’t his normal offering of help. This sounded more like Scott was hoping for an excuse to stay in here, out of the way. “Why?” she had asked. Scott had looked down and shifted his weight uncomfortably. “I know they’re just trying to make conversation, but they’ll ask questions I don’t have good answers for.” The “they” Scott had referred to was the Grey relations that had been filling the house all afternoon, and his answer had made Elaine smile. “What do you mean, good answers? It’s not a test, Scott,” she had kidded him. “They only want to get to know you and Ororo.” Then there had been a scattering of amused laughter from the living room. Scott gave a half-hearted smile and a glance in that direction, as though the frivolity out there only helped make his point. “Ororo has stories people like to hear, about beautiful, far-off places. I don’t have any stories like that. I woke up from a coma, in an orphanage, after my parents died. Then I was on the streets until Professor Xavier found me.” Elaine had watched him shrug, almost nonchalantly, as Scott offered a painfully simple summary, then decided, “No one wants to hear about that.” She had gotten the distinct impression that he’d said more than intended with that mouthful, but he’d said it as someone stating facts, not as someone looking for sympathy. “And I’d guess you don’t want to talk about it either,” Elaine had responded. He’d answered, “No, I don’t.” And she hadn’t asked for any further clarification. “Why don’t you help me chop the carrots,” she’d suggested instead. “Yes, ma’am,” he’d gratefully agreed. So Elaine had gone back to her chores with Scott at her side.... At the time, she hadn’t thought much on the details he’d chosen to share except to feel an acute and lingering sadness for a child who had unfairly found himself alone in the world. As much as that loneliness pained her, she knew trying to press him beyond his own comfort zones wouldn’t help him. Elaine had hoped instead that, in his own time, Scott would come to understand the depth of their feelings for him, to understand that he had a home and a family here now. And eventually, he’d feel safe and comfortable enough to accept and return their feelings for him, to accept his place here – within this safe, stable, loving family – of which he was already an indispensable part. “You’re not pulling an all-nighter now,” Elaine warned him (as Scott refilled his coffee cup). “Go easy on the coffee or you won’t be able to sleep.” Scott smiled at her warning as he crossed the room and sat back down with his coffee. “I haven’t been sleeping so well recently, coffee or no.” “Something specific on your mind?” Elaine asked. Scott shrugged, giving a thoughtful frown. He hadn’t really meant to volunteer that, if for no other reason than it would raise Elaine’s worry unnecessarily. But, as often happened with Elaine, he found himself answering honestly anyway. “Everything, it seems, sometimes,” he admitted. “You ever feel like your life is moving so fast it’s hard to keep up?” Elaine nodded. “Try watching two kids grow up right in front of you.” Scott smiled at her quip. “But that’s not your problem,” Elaine prompted. “No.” Scott gave another shrug, as if trying to loosen some unseen weight or maybe work a knot from his shoulder. “My life has a way of going all topsy turvy just when I think I’ve figured out where I stand. Recently I catch myself expecting that– waiting for it.... That’s something I thought I had gotten over after the Home,” he admitted quietly. Scott didn’t often speak of the Sunset Home, the orphanage where he’d landed after the plane crash. “Before I left for ESU, Professor Xavier told me this was my time, and I should enjoy it. So far I have; it’s been exciting, busy, rewarding– and all of that keeps me going nonstop during the days. But when I close my eyes at night it all feels unreal. I think: This can’t be my life. I lie awake recycling the bad memories or I recycle the old nightmares in my sleep. It feels like–” he shook his head, trailing off, “like I’m just skipping over a broken record in my head. Maybe I don’t know how to let myself be happy.” He had never tried to articulate those feelings before, the possibility of something in him being wrong or broken. He hadn’t thought about the reality of his brain damage from the crash– maybe not ever. Beginning with his recovery from the coma as a child, he’d thought of it as no more than an obstacle he’d become determined to overcome. This invisible obstacle had already cost him a year of his life and set him back a grade in school. He decided after that – with all the determination only an eight-year-old could muster – it wasn’t going to cost him anything else, and nobody was gonna write him off as a damage case. As a result, he’d worked his way back up a grade in school, and afterward the label hadn’t scared him anymore... at least not until the headaches had become increasingly persistent, leading up to the onset of his optic blasts. Now, each time Hank had done brain scans he’d assured Scott that while there was scarring from old injury, it was nothing that would further impair him. Scott had always been hyper-aware of that phrasing, “further impair”. Doctors had a particular way of sugar-coating things. Hank was no different in that regard, and Scott didn’t want to know the details... mostly. But sometimes he wondered, lying awake in the dark, if he wasn’t fighting against damage that couldn’t be undone, if there weren’t invisible limitations on him, scars of things he couldn’t understand. Elaine sat down opposite him. “Scott– That’s ridiculous,” she told him sternly. Her reprimand made Scott laugh unexpectedly. He enjoyed Elaine’s bluntness. It was a relief to him that she could be counted on to say what she meant, no interpretation needed. Not many people did that; most hedged, at least a little. Guarding their own thoughts and emotions, or weighing out what they thought you wanted to hear against what they really wanted to say. “Happiness is not terribly hard and there’s no great trick to it.” Elaine placed her hand over his. “Your problem is that you learned unhappiness first. Unhappiness sticks longer. And people can spend their whole lives making themselves unhappy because they’re afraid someone might take what happiness they have away.” She patted his hand. “Don’t waste time making yourself unhappy when you have every reason and every opportunity to be happy.” Scott nodded and gave the expected, “Yes, ma’am.” Her words made him feel better. He still wasn’t sure what the truth was. Sometimes he could still feel as defective as he had back in the Home... like something was missing... like he was missing something... some lost understanding of the world or himself, missing the link to his place in it all.... It was reassuring simply to be told otherwise. Elaine frowned, taking in his troubled expression. “If it’s worse than that... if the unhappiness isn’t going away and it’s more than you think you can handle– you talk to John about it, or get Jean to take you to the health center at school. Don’t do that strong, silent routine. There’s no shame in getting help when you need help– right?” Scott nodded. “I had an uncle who was that way. We thought he’d drink himself into the grave; he used a gun instead.” “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.” “Of course you didn’t. Now you do.” She was still watching him intently. “I’m not thinking anything like that, I promise,” he added. “Good. Nothing in life is worth losing your life.” Elaine squeezed his hand for emphasis. “And I want to keep you around, Scott. So don’t hesitate to talk about anything that makes you unhappy. Getting it out in the open is the first step toward fixing any problem – it’s also the scariest part – but the first step is always hard, right?” He nodded again. “Yes, ma’am,” Scott conceded, giving another smile. “Good.” She decided, studying him again. “Then go easy on the coffee so you can get some sleep,” she reminded, patting his hand one more time before she stood and went up to bed. Scott smiled as he listened to her go. Just feeling grateful, not knowing how to say thanks, and at the same time knowing no thanks were needed. There was nothing quite like that feeling... just being cared for. He opened his book again, rereading that last line, thinking for a moment about the seemingly unique human fascination with self-destruction. It was bitterly unfair that Elaine could simultaneously be so reassuring to him and so infuriating to Sarah.