X-Men fan fiction
Letter to Jean
Fearless Invitation: the story behind Letter to Jean
Open Letter From Scott Summers to the X-Men
Letter to Jean
Please don’t be alarmed by this letter. I have been thinking of all the ways I wanted to tell you this and thinking of all the missed opportunities I’ve had....
I wish I could tell you how I feel.
How do you tell the girl you love that you've loved her since the moment you first saw her? How do you tell her that from the moment you first met, you knew she was the only girl in the world for you? How do you explain, that even when you couldn’t string together enough words and sentences to make simple conversation in her presence, you knew without a doubt in your mind that you were meant to spend the rest of your life with this woman?
Sometimes I don’t know why this future surprises me so much.
Sure, I never could have imagined anything like this. Yes, so much of it is horrifying and shocking, and nothing seems to have turned out the way we all thought it would.
But when has anything in my life ever gone according to plan?
Except for this.
From the moment I held that scrap of paper in my hand, read the wedding invitation, saw that date in June like it had been set there in stone... I had proof that, finally, something in my life had gone right.
The girl of my dreams had loved me.
We had been happy.
Enough to get married.
Enough to want to spend the rest of our lives with each other.
I don’t know what I was thinking when I handed you that invitation. A million things. I knew it wasn’t fair to spring it on you like that... but you had to already know about it from what was in Blue Hank’s head. I was hurt that you hadn’t wanted to talk to me, hurt that nobody here seemed willing to give me a chance, hurt that even my own teammates were starting to doubt me. Truthfully, I was starting to doubt myself too. And that scared me.
This was the one bit of proof I had to show I hadn’t turned out all wrong.
At some point you loved the man I had become.
At some point in my life, Jean Grey had loved me for the man I was.
But this wasn’t just some mind-bending future artifact. It was also, at least in my head, a way of saying all those things I couldn’t say to you. The way I’ve never in my life felt anything that compares to the way I feel when you’re standing right next to me. It’s the difference between the darkest night and the brightest day. It’s like, finally, I’m where I’m meant to be– and I–
Scott stopped writing and ran a hand through his hair.
What’s wrong with me? I can fight Magneto, for crying out loud! Why can’t I simply say, I love you, Jean Grey!? I love you with all my heart and soul. And I always will.
He carefully crossed out that last line then put the pen down. There was more... but some things were just too personal for words....
And now– I’m afraid I’ve missed my chance.
She doesn’t want me to feel that way about her. I thought I might still have time to change that, to show her I’m still someone she might be able to love... someday. But she doesn’t feel the same, and given everything she knows about future me... I’m not so sure I blame her.
I still love her. The only thing I really know for sure is, I can’t imagine ever not loving her.
He gave a sigh, carefully folded the letter and tucked it into his pocket for safe keeping. For now, all of that would have to stay in his own head.
So Let it Be Written Publishing © 2004